For a few moments the redhead waited in anticipation, and even a little fear, for Maine’s reaction. She knew she shouldn’t have said anything; soldiers didn’t feel anything like love or tenderness or anything besides killing and surviving. They especially didn’t. Now Maine was going to pull away from her, leave, and probably never talk about this ever again-

When Maine took her by the shoulders, she braced herself for the rejection. But then she caught that look on his face, and that said just about everything she needed to hear. Of course he wouldn’t say anything out loud; he hardly did. And while it would have been a little better to hear his confirmation out loud, the way he kissed her and took her hand was just as good as anything he could say. 

Now that Carolina knew that she had him, there was no way in hell that she ever wanted to let him go. It was safe to say to say that she had gotten used to the comfort and security that came with being with Maine, so at least for a little while she could let her guard down. She tightened her grip on the titan’s hand, rough from years of combat but still warm enough to keep his touch inviting. Her free hand went to his shoulder, gripping tightly at his shirt, then moving further up to trace his jawline with gentle fingertips.

He might as well have said it. Maine might as well have carved his beating heart out and handed it to Carolina on a silver platter, because that’s what it felt like he’d done, and he’d be lying if he said it felt anything but amazing. He’d let her gradually chip away at the walls he raised around his heart, and now that she had him —now that they had each other— he wanted to be as close to her as possible, he needed to be closer to her; a need made obvious his actions.

With an amount of care nearly unbecoming of such a titan, he held Lina’s hand tightly and moved his other to her hip, slowly pulling her onto his lap. Through the slow motions, there was never a moment when Maine let his lips stray from hers. He was determined to let her know just how much he cared for her, to let her feel that she had him in his entirety and that he loved her back with everything he had. So, moving his hand from her hip to the back of her neck, he kissed her. He kissed her long and hard but with a tenderness only she knew, and he was content. Wit his fingers threaded with hers and tangled in her fiery locks, the walking suit of armor felt alive for once —really alive— and he didn’t want the feeling to stop.

The press of her lips and the squeeze of her hand had his heart booming in his ears and left his stomach doing flips, and it was the best thing he’d ever felt. She was the best he’d ever had, and at that moment, he hoped she’d have him forever.

There were only a select few people that ever got to see Carolina’s most human side, Maine being one of them. He was one of the only people that could make her feel like anything besides a soldier, the Director’s pawn to be commanded and expected to command as well. Maine let her feel like she could be human for a little while, like she could let go of responsibilities and reality for just a few hours. 

So that’s what she did. She moved easily with the pulling at her hip, shifting her position until she was straddling the titan’s lap and grinning into that kiss like it was her only chance to smile for years. But eventually she pulled away and wrapped her arms around him once more, just to feel that security again. The way their chests pressed together, Carolina could feel the slightest movement of her lover’s pounding heart. The reassuring pulse immediately relaxed her completely, and with her face buried against his neck she kissed the scarred skin once, then again, as if to emphasize her earlier words in any way she could find.

"Hey there, champ! Training go well today?"



"Went longer than I expected, but it was good." 

If only York could know what she was feeling.  He could let her know that he didn’t care about any of that.  He would be the one to swear he would drag her up instead, that he’d never leave her no matter what.  But he couldn’t.  He had no clue about those insecurities.

All he could do is nod and keep walking.

Even without letting York in, the redhead felt like she was dragging York down. She wasn’t entirely sure why he bothered wasting his time on her. He worried, but was that enough of a reason? She didn’t need anyone’s help and she did just fine on her own, so she couldn’t really think of anything. Maybe it was just him and that was all. 

She wanted to say something again. Anything. “Thanks for worrying about me,” maybe. Or, “it means a lot that you’re staying with me through all this” or something. Or maybe she could just say “fuck pride” and spill every single thing that had been eating at her for the past x-months. 

But no. All she could do was keep her mouth shut and hope York still didn’t abandon her.

[Agent Carolina is offline]

please explain to me how you made your beurre blanc. Thank you in advance.

((Of course, dear! My recipe made a cup of beurre blanc, so it was a little difficult to keep from separating since it was such a small amount. The recipe is as follows: 

  • 1 1/2 tsp of white wine
  • 1 Tbsp of white wine vinegar
  • 1 Tbsp of minced shallot
  • 1/2 lb of chilled, cubed whole butter
  • a pinch of salt and white pepper
  1. Combine white wine, white wine vinegar, shallot, salt, and pepper in a small saucepan. Reduce the mixture until approximately 30ml of liquid remains. 
  2. Whisk the butter into the mixture over low heat a few pieces at a time. Whisk slowly so that the fat does not separate from the acids.
  3. When all the butter is incorporated, remove the saucepan from the heat. Strain the mixture to get rid of any shallot and keep it hot for service.

And that’s it! It’s very simple, and it only took me about fifteen minutes to make. I used unsalted butter in my recipe, so I had to add a little more salt after it was done, but those were the only complications (aside from almost separating my beurre blanc a few times) ))


Carolina after a long night of training came out of the arena to see this left near the observation window. York knows how to make her smile even when he’s not there.

No one will ever be able to convince me that Carolina wouldn’t have that mug.

How you doing this fine evening?

((Pretty great, finally. The beurre blanc I had to make in culinary today was near perfect, which is more than I could ask for my first time making it. My emotions are finally sorted out so I can stop suffocating. Also I have animal crackers.))

((I think today was a pretty good day.))

[Agent Carolina is online]

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